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Fossil Dad: My New Year Expectations

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Taso Lagos is program director for Hellenic studies in the Jackson School of International Studies at the University of Washington. Photo credit: Patrick Luhrs
Taso Lagos is program director for Hellenic studies in the Jackson School of International Studies at the University of Washington. Photo credit: Patrick Luhrs.

Mill Creek area resident Taso Lagos blogs about what it’s like being a middle-aged new parent. A so-called “Fossil Dad.”

I don’t believe in New Year’s Resolutions, so here are my New Year’s Expectations:

1. The holidays marathon that began on Thanksgiving and ended on New Year’s Day added, for the average person, 12 pounds. Not to mention copious amounts of libations. Why not collapse the three major holidays into one – ThanksMasYear. Thanksgiving, Christmas/Hanukkah/Eid, and New Year’s all in one wonderful, ginormous celebration. Forget piecemeal holidays and long drives to grandma’s house; think one grand event that’ll save wasted food, drink and weird encounters with eccentric uncles. We’ve had one revolution in politics; why not another in holidays?

2. I’d like to try out a self-driving car this year.

3. College should not just be for the young. Most industrialized countries of the world experience aging populations; there are more retired baby boomers than teenagers. It’s time we got over-50-year-olds back to college, to get a second (or first) degree and to show some real football spirit at homecomings. More diversity will result, and not to mention a whole lot of experience and wisdom the young can take advantage of. I’d love to see President Donald Trump and former advisor Steve Bannon attending the same college (maybe even the same classes!) together. Now that’s a real homecoming!

4. Will Whole Foods (now that it’s Amazon’s) offer complimentary books with the asparagus?! Just a thought.

5. Last November, there was an uncontested election for three out of four Mill Creek Council seats. The year before that, a few major Snohomish races had only one candidate running. I know what you’re thinking: “Uncontested elections mean incumbents are doing a good job.” Not True! Healthy democracies never allow this. No election should take place unless there are always at least two candidates in each position. Having a write-in candidate is not the same. Let’s not become like the old Soviet Union where “elections” took place with single candidates and 98% turnouts.

6. Maybe this is the year that robotic dogs will sweep the nation. Pooper-scooper laws must adjust. But who’s responsible when the robotic dog bites the postal carrier?

7. I hope to arrange the first Fossil Dads’ Convention this year. Rather than balmy Florida or sunny California, I suggest it be held in frigid Minnesota or Cleveland. It’s symbolic of the challenges involved in the position, but also to show that cheer and warmth come from the people, not the landscape. Being a Fossil Dad is not for everyone!

Happy ThanksMasYear!

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